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The Roundtable: Slow Dancing

You can slow dance to any song with any member of the same sex - so who is it?

This week we offer a pretty simple question to our HEAVE writers – if you could slow dance with a musician of the same sex to any song of your choice – who would it be and why? I, for one, would probably want to dance to “Celebration” by Kool and the Gang with Jay-Z.

Mark Steffen - If I had to slow dance with one musician of the same sex, the answer is obvious: Thom Yorke.  Sure, in the past I might have gone with someone a little more traditionally attractive (Conor Oberst) or someone completely hilarious and ridiculous (Axl Rose).  These days I think I’d feel most at home looking deep into that sad, lazy eye of his and thinking, “Damn.  You’re right.  Economic policy and creating a unified global ecology act is so much more important than pretty-boy looks and scoring some good coke.” 

As for what song we’d slow dance to?  Well, let’s get one thing straight: I don’t slow dance.  I do, however, slow-groove.  That said, I’d go with a classic slow-jam: “Regulate” by Warren G and Nate Dogg.  Picture it, just me, a lazy-eyed British rock star turned environmentalist, and Warren G showing us how to hold it down in the LBC; trust me, you don’t wanna step to this, 2-1-3, me, and Thom Yorke are gonna regulate.

Cory Roop - In this type of situation I think it's imperative to choose someone with whom you have quite a bit in common so you can talk and pass the time rather than existing in an increasingly uncomfortable series of moments due to the fact that you're dancing with someone who may not want to dance with you. The one with whom I feel I'd have quite a bit in common is Jonathan Coulton.  He is, like I am, a pretty big nerd.  We could pass the time discussing ninjas or math or video games...while Weezer's "In the Garage" plays.  I mean, while we're focusing on nerd-dom, why not throw in the ultimate nerd-rock song?  It has everything, Dungeons & Dragons references, X-Men and Kiss.  It’s absolutely perfect - and completely awkward at the same time.

Amy Dittmeier - I’ve had a couple same sex dances in my lifetime, most of them out of jest or the need to not be the only one alone on the dance floor, but never with a female musician.  Slow dancing is a big deal, people.  This is a step in your relationship with that person.  A slow dance is like an elongated hug, a time where two people can hold each other close, putz around in circles and whisper silly little things.  Guys, if you want to jumpstart a romantic relationship with someone you need to slow dance with a girl.  Enough said.  So I take this serious same sex slow dance the same way.  I need someone who I can take out there and spin her around and make her feel like the only woman out there.  So of course it has to be newcomer to the music world, Zooey Deschanel.  She’s adorable, she’s a sweetheart, she’s perfect to share an innocent waltz with. 

As for the slow dance selection, my dream song to dance to at any slow dance event (wedding, party, crashing a high school prom) has been “Wild Horses” by the Rolling Stones.  I know the song isn’t the most romantic but every time it pops into my headphones my heart warms and I feel the need to hold someone.  For me it’s always been about wanting to be closer to someone.  Not only do I have a mad girl crush on Zooey, I think this song is one to woo her with.  She’d totally dig the great guitar licks, Jagger and Richard’s crushingly gorgeous lyrics and of course my dancing skills.

Alyssa Vincent - Since I've got girl crushes on every lady from Feist to Kim Schifino to Amanda Blank, choosing just one of them to slow-dance with proved to be quite difficult. I've got to go with one particular girl though--Khaela Maricich of The Blow. From what I've garnered of her personality from her music, and clips of interviews on YouTube, she'd be the perfect gal to share the dance floor with. Just the right amount of quirky and clumsiness to keep things interesting. As far as a song goes, I'm sticking with a classic: "These Days" by Nico. I think Khaela and I could cut a rug to Nico's blase tones, and the sparse instrumentation of the track goes well with Khaela's own tendencies in her wonderfully simple, yet compelling electronic music.