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The Revenge Mixtape

Revenge is a dish best served musically.

There are some people that walk into your life, take a giant (metaphorical) dump on you, turn your world upside down, and leave you to pick up the pieces. For various reasons such as love, friendship, competition, or just sheer hatred, they’ve decided to make your life at some point a living hell. So obviously the way to combat a person like this is some good old fashion revenge. Whether it be slashing their tires, dragging their name through the mud, or something more mundane or sinister. Revenge might be a dish best served cold, but it feels so warm and inviting. This week is a soundtrack to put on as you plot the downfall of your mortal enemies.

Spoon – Revenge - Brit Daniels sums up the confusion you feel when all you want is revenge with the simple line “what the real purpose is what I want,” because what do we really want out of revenge? A simple satisfaction of someone else feeling horrible, or is it more deeply rooted?

Beck – Mutherfucker - When seeking revenge, you’ve probably called your target a Motherfucker. If not, start doing so, because you obviously don’t like the person. And then you can echo Beck’s sentiment that everyone is out to get them. I wouldn’t recommend bashing their heads in like Beck suggest, so don’t come crying to us if you end up jail.

Camera Obscura - If Looks Could Kill - If looks could indeed kill, there would be a lot of dead boyfriends or ex-boyfriends. Guys may get hurt and angry in the game of love, but you usually don’t see them shooting someone an icy glare. This song may sound upbeat and full of happy twang, but the sinister plot reveals itself between the lines.

The Decemberists - The Mariner’s Revenge Song - Leave it up to The Decemberists to craft a long and suspenseful tale of revenge during an epic 8+ minute song. And it’s one of the oldest stories in the book, of man vs. beast. But never was the traditional tale quite as fun until they added a dash of snooty indie rock to it.

Lily Allen - Not Big - If you want to find a sassy songstress who isn’t afraid to slander a man who breaks her heart, look no further than Lily Allen. Sure, other girls write about heartache and crying, but Allen is the only girl ballsy enough to blatantly state that someone is rubbish in bed, couldn’t get it up, and never gave her an orgasm. For the throngs of women who can’t stand up and say it to a guys face, Lily Allen is there to help.

Pretty Girls Make Graves - If You Hate Your Friends, You’re Not Alone - The typical way you make an enemy is by being their friend first. Unless you’re a samurai avenging the death of your family, your mission of revenge is probably based around someone close to you stabbing you in the back. And with lines like “cause someone always wants to listen to hate, it’s just too bad you’re so easy to ignore,” Pretty Girls gives you the song to stab them back.

Fiona Apple - Get Gone - Need to remind yourself why you so vehemently despise the person you want to incur your wrath upon? If it was someone that spurned you in matters of the heart, let Fiona Apple be your guide. Because no matter what that person said, if they hurt you so badly you want to seek revenge, then like Fiona says, they probably really don’t give a shit about you.