The Week That Was

Friday: If you love folk, you’ll love this news. Monsters of Folk (comprised of Conor Oberst, M. Ward, and Jim James of My Morning Jacket) will release their self-titled debut on September 22. Get out your stalk of chewin’ wheat and try to not light it on fire while simultaneously chain-smoking Marlboro Reds. 

Saturday: Didn’t get your hands on a Wuggie, the Weezer-branded Snuggie just yet? Well, while you’re waiting, feel free to tune in to their new online radio station. Yeah. Clear Channel just started a program called a.p.e. (artist personal experience) radio that entails various artists producing their own 24-hour online radio stations. Keep an ear open for it in July.    

Sunday: Damn, Eddie Murphy must be crying on some hooker’s shoulder right now. His latest family-friendly venture (usually safe territory for him) Imagine That made only $5.7 million at the box office this weekend. The Hangover continued to be awesome, taking the top spot with $33.4 million.  

Monday: In gangsta news today, we’ve gotten word of an epic tour: Lil’ Wayne + Young Jeezy + Soulja Boy + Drake = America’s Most Wanted Tour. That’s not me being outrageously clever, that’s the legitimate name of the tour. Check ‘em out beginning in late July everywhere from Scranton, PA to Dallas, TX. 

Tuesday: Quite some time ago, I cryptically wrote about an equally cryptic statement made by Jack White about a White Stripes film. Turns out it’s a tour documentary! The White Stripes: Under Great White Northern Lights will screen at the Toronto International Film Festival in September. The subject of the doc is their 2007 offbeat Canadian tour.  

Wednesday: Obviously, as Lollapalooza draws closer, we’re going to be showering you with loads of advice about how exactly to plan your three-day extravaganza. But, the schedule did debut today, and I find it entirely necessary to discuss. Obviously, no schedule can be perfect, but here are the most egregious errors.  

Friday is pretty OK—I mean, you’ve got to choose between Andrew Bird and Of Montreal, The Decemberists and Peter Bjorn and John (but only for a half-hour), and Kings of Leon and Depeche Mode. Not TOO bad.  

Then, we come to Saturday: did they have to put TV and the Radio against Lykke Li against Rise Against? MY GOD. Oh, and some people might complain about Beastie Boys vs. Tool, but if you don’t choose the Boys, I would never choose you as a pal.  

Sunday is the worst, surprisingly. Raveonettes/Gang Gang Dance/Dan Deacon. NOOOOO! Neko Case/Vampire Weekend/Passion Pit. Double NOOOO! Lou Reed/Snoop Dogg. OK, now shit is getting ridiculous. And in a closing night “Battle of the Guyliner,” we have The Killers up against Jane’s Addiction. It’s like Sophie’s Choice up in here, except with less family trauma and more music.  

Thursday: Here’s a shocker—Billy Joel, 60, and his third wife, 27-year-old Katie Lee are splitting up after five years of marriage. I know “age ain’t nothin’ but a number” for some people, but come on now. Perhaps those 33 years were harder to bridge than they thought they would be.