It was 1991. George # 1 was drawing a line in the sand, C + C Music Factory made us sweat, and I was turning 11. All I wanted for my birthday was a new Boombox, preferably with a CD player. We’d never had one in the house. Just a few odd cassette players and a bitchin Marantz turntable my parents brought back with them from the Seventies. Man, that was killer turntable! The shiny blue light amplified the grooves in the 45’s as I sat hypnotized to the sounds of George Michael and DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.

My trusty Sony Walkman always kept me company as well. I can remember lying in bed giggling to the new 2 Live Crew tape my sister smuggled into the house. That shit is still Nasty after all these years.

Well, the reason you’re smelling this whiff of nostalgia coming off me is because the Compact Disc just recently turned 25 years old. So pocket them iPods in your hand and grab that last Creed CD you bought out from under the bottle of PBR. Now stare in wonderment at how this simple little piece of plastic changed the world forever.

It was August 17, 1982 when the first bulk of compact discs rolled off an assembly line in a factory just outside Hanover, Germany. A joint effort between Phillips Electronics of Holland and Sony Corp. of Japan, these first CD’s contained Richard Strauss’ Alpine Symphony and would sound equally sharp if played today. The design drew inspiration from vinyl records. Much like the grooves of a record, CD’s are engraved with a spiral of tiny pits that are scanned by a laser. The reflected light is than encoded into millions upon millions of 0’s and 1’s. There you have it, your digital file.

The design of the CD was initially based on the most sensible play length. Some like to think the design was based on a Dutch beer coaster, others think a Sony Executive wanted it to be long enough for Beethoven’s 9 th Symphony. 25 years on, this marvel of modern technology is quickly becoming a relic of the past. The record stores have disappeared, the amount of available music at the Best Buys and Circuit City’s are dwindling, and you’ve had little Timmy’s iPod repaired twice.

CD sales have fallen sharply to 553 million sold in the United States last year, a 22 percent drop from its 2001 peak of 712 million, according to Nielsen SoundScan. That once shiny piece of jewelry is in the process of being reduced to its very core of 0’s and 1’s, and I’m a bit pissed off by that. I guess I’m a little old fashioned but I still want to have something tangible. I need the artwork, I want to know who gets thanked, who gets forgotten about, what instruments were used, who produced it? The Cd, the record, the cassette, is the band’s personal little gift to you. Now that little gift is being lost in the shuffle of your MP3 player. Faceless, nameless artists bleeding together with the other so and so’s you stole from LimeWire. Let’s face it, the only good thing to come out of this modern fascination is the amount of oil we’ll save in production. Hooray! Cheers to Al Gore, that green mossy man who invented the InterWeb. So please take good care of the little gifts you have left. Soon they won’t be arriving in the post, or waiting for you on the racks. Just floating in the ether wondering if you’ll notice them or not.

Tags: Compact Disc, Phillips Electronics, Sony

HEAVEmedia has started. FINALLY! As we’ve all spent the day looking frazzled and recharging laptops, some funny conversations have occurred. I found myself grinning about the idea of “fame”, after reading and discussing some articles on upcoming bands. But not because I object to the use of the word fame, or because I am on some higher philosophical plane and better understand what makes fame occur.

No, I’m grinning because whenever I think “fame”, I think David Bowie.

I had this song on a blue cassette tape when I was a kid. It’s better recorded than this live version, by the way. If I remember correctly, I got it from a salesman at the shoe store my dad always had us go to. We got the latest single from Biz Markie too (that’s the guy who started “Oh, SNAP!”), but we liked Fame better.

My sister and I would put it in our Fisher-Price tape player (the nearly indestructible one, with the attached red microphone on the side) and dance our little-rocker-girl hearts out.

Happy Birthday, HEAVE! Let us create our own happy memories.

Tags: Biz Markie, David Bowie, fame, HEAVEmedia

HEAVE launches in less than a half hour; but with all good things must come bad things.

It appears that Owen Wilson has attempted to commit suicide.

I really hope everything works out for him and the people who care about him.

The weather all over the Chicagoland-area right now is a lot like Jesus taking a gentle, humungously-sized sponge bath in Heaven - warm, damp and just a little bit uncomfortable to even think about (much less experience firsthand). But right when you start to get used to the idea, the Almighty himself twists and squeezes his glorious polyester scrubbing pad and - WHOOSH - there’s water fucking everywhere in a matter of seconds. Just imagine that process repeating itself at random for 4-5 straight days, with explosive blasts of thunder and lightning thrown in for good measure. Yikes.

In honor of our unseasonably awful August weather, here’s some music videos that may or may not have any relation the unleashed fury of Cumulonimbus cloud formations.

BJ Thomas performing the Burt Bacharach-penned tune, “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head” 

 Metallica - “Ride The Lightning”

 Arctic Monkeys - “Brianstorm”

Tags: arctic monkeys, awful weather, BJ Thomas, chicago, metallica, rain

I can’t even put into words how awesome this is.

 Thank you, NBC.  Thank you from the bottom of my childhood heart.

In a rather weird sentiment, Ben Lee has decided to cover Against Me!. Not just a song or two; the whole album. Apparently he liked the whole album so much that he decided to do it all himself. Nice. It can be found here.

Tags: Against Me!, Ben Lee

I’m probably late to this party, but I heard today that Rolling Stone’s guitarist Kieth Richards was just paid an advance of $7 million to write his autobiography for New York-publishers Little, Brown, & Co.. That’s a hell of a paycheck for someone who barely speaks English as it is.

Anyway, as a budding writer, here’s my best guess as to the chapter titles for Richards’ forthcoming tome:

1: How to free-base herion while living in the public eye.

2: 1-2-3-Taiwanese hooker

3: Nasa computes the number of women I’ve slept with.

4: Why I’m no longer required to speak English.

5: Slightly fem and fancy free.

6: Aerosmith: bottom-feeding pansies

7: A list of animals that I have eaten live.

8: Why were were so bad in the ’80s and ’90s.

9: My age - the youngest groupie I slept with + pi = A single unifying theory for all universal constants.

10: Tu Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything Julie Numar!

Tag: Rolling Stones

Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce Is Coming To Town.

If you’ve turned on a television set in the last 25 years chances are you’ve caught an episode or two of a little show called MASH. It’s star and sometimes co-writer and director, Alan Alda (Hawkeye Pierce) will be appearing at the Tivoli Theatre September 27 in Downers Grove, IL.
The only reason I am mentioning this here on Heave is because I am absolutely lollipops when it comes to the show MASH. I have shirts, books, box sets, and yes, even a Hawkeye Pierce action figure. Creepy I know.

Mr. Alda’s appearance coincides with the release of his latest memoir “Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself.” The program includes admission for two, a copy of the book, a screening of Same Time Next Year, and the opportunity to meet, and have your book signed by the author. I’m so excited my belly button has been puckering and unpuckering all week!
Please do yourselves a favor and enjoy the splendor and repast of the Tivoli Theatre whilst being entertained by a true American icon.

Here’s the info.

An Evening With Alan Alda
Thursday, September 27, at 7:00 p.m. at the Tivoli Theatre,
5021 Highland Ave., Downers Grove
Tickets, $45, are required and are available at Anderson’s
in Downers Grove.

Tags: Alan Alda, Mash

I’m not sure how much you folks keep up on them videa-games, but there’s more than a few significant releases looming in the coming months. Madden 08 dropped earlier this week, Halo 3 hits September 25, Mass Effect in November, Super Mario Galaxy and Smash Bros. Brawl are en route for early December, and a handful of honorable mentions are primed at their respective holiday gates awaiting the green light.

Aside from Metroid Prime 3, next week’s big one is Irrational Games’ (now 2K Games Boston) BioShock. Normally I wouldn’t draw attention to such an esoteric title, but BioShock began drawing 10/10 ratings from nearly every print and online gaming outlet across the board as the embargo was lifted on reviews this morning. It’s on pace to replace The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time as the highest-rated title of all time. Really. I can’t emphasize how unimaginable that is for a first-time intellectual property.

Hopefully reviewers aren’t simply lovin’ it because BioShock isn’t playing it safe. The game brings genetic mutations, thoughtful storytelling, and ’50s art deco design to standard single-player shooter mechanics. You patrol an underwater once-paradise intended for humanity’s brightest minds to thrive and prosper sans the shackles of regulation and morality. It’s gone dystopian when you stumble upon it, of course, but the denizens’ discoveries are used to your advantage: you’ll inject genetics-altering serums to shoot electricity, freeze enemies, and (no joke) spawn a hive’s full of hornets from your forearm. BioShock seems to be about thoughtful narrative and morality at its core, however — it draws on Ayd Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged” for plot advice.

My bless’d pseudo-career as a freelance game journalist means a review copy will find its way to me by Tuesday. I’ll let you know how it is once I’ve submerged a bit. Pray I don’t sink too far to not return.

The countdown to the official launch of HEAVEmedia has begun! You may have already seen the slick little ticker on our myspace page. If not….well, go check it out. Go ahead. Click on the link.

Modest, is it not? To the point, as well! So…would you consider putting it on your own site?

We put the code on the myspace blog, right HERE.

Even if that’s not your thing, thanks for checking in on us. I hope you’re having fun here on the real blog, telling us what you think - even BEFORE “day one”. Excitement is growing in HEAVEmedia homes and offices across Chicagoland. We can’t wait to really get things going.

And um…yeah. About that whole “myspace” thing…would you…I mean…I’m not asking any favors or anything, and I NEVER do this, really, because I think it’s - oh, for goodness’ sake. BE OUR FRIEND, okay?! I request that you request to be our friend. If you’re trendy. Or anti-trendy. Or whatever you are - and have a myspace page.

Don’t deny it.

We know you do.

(But just in case…we have a facebook group, too.

…

Tags: facebook, HEAVEmedia, myspace