Here’s what the Heave staff has been into this week:

Alex Borkowski

This is the level of decadence and extravagance I aspire to achieve at some point in my life: rich enough to own a top hat with a snakeskin band, and a sequined gold tuxedo jacket that I wear shirtless.

Francis Macarthy

As hard as it is for me to admit, as much as I hate myself for it, I absolutely love the new Death Grips album Government Plates. These two assholes stood me up (and many other fans) at the Lollapalooza aftershow and I (thought) I swore them off for good. I even told myself I hated the album when it first came out. Well, I caved. And now I can’t stop listening to it. Damnit.

Trent Zuberi

I’ve become infatuated with the Humans of New York photo/story blog for the past year, and being that I’m in New York this week I’d love nothing more than to be stopped by this guy.

Amy Dittmeier

I can make it to March 14th…

Joe Anderson

I’ve been catching up on Adventure Time and I can’t get enough of this scene. The way the voice actor reads lines for the first fox is amazing: it’s stilted and awkward and perfect.

Meghan Bongartz

Mulan is on Netflix right now, and so this is a public service announcement to remind you that it ends with a 98 Degrees song. You’re welcome.

Anthony Hoffman

The Guardians of the Galaxy trailer. Because of course. It could be an unmitigated shit sandwich, but the trailer has me very optimistic that it won’t. And I don’t even know a damn thing about any of these people! Chris Pratt is doing well at this movie star thing.

Matt Brassil

I decided to give True Detective another chance after some insisting from many other avid TV viewers, and I am dedicating time to it in less of a binge style. I feel that there’s a better flow to that show by taking it an episode at a time. I may have just judged a book by its cover. Updates on the way.

Dominick Suzanne-Mayer

In honor of the Road to WrestleMania project I’ve been working on for this very site, I’d like to point you all toward WrestleMania IX, and particularly what might be, by far, one of the Undertaker’s most ignoble moments of his whole storied career. It’s by far one of the worst wrestling PPVs I’ve ever seen in general, but this really takes the cake, a match involving a horrifyingly large man in a body suit that has fake pubes on it and ends in chloroforming. Yes, I’m serious.