Did you know that every week game companies churn out electronic entertainment that provides sometimes over fifteen minutes of unsurpassed joy? Well they do. So here’s a list of some notable games being released this week, organized into a handy schoolyard categorization:

Marry (or hold a commitment ceremony with many of the same legal benefits)

Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon: Future Solider (PS3, 360)

You’re buying this game because you love online multiplayer and squad based shooters. I could try to argue against it, but the public wants what it wants.

Frak

Dragon’s Dogma (PS3, 360)

This game could be about woodland creatures learning the power of friendship through the tragic loss of their homeland to deforestation and I’d still pick it up because it offers early access to the Resident Evil 6 demo. How early? July for Xbox 360 owners and September for PS3 owners.  I just wish the game itself looked like more than just the fantasy action-RPG’s everyone seems so keen on delivering right now. I am an orc-genocide supporter just like my father and his father before him, but not enough to invest in this one until there’s a price drop.

Sorcery (PS3)

I really want to love this game, but I’m worried the magic-based adventure game will just boil down to waving my Move baton around like a poor man’s Percy Jackson (that’s a Harry Potter dig. Deal with it!) Color me cautiously optimistic, or taupe. Color me taupe.

Kill

Mario Tennis Open (3DS)

Reviews have not been kind to this entry in the “Why is Mario Fat Yet Amazing at Every Sport and Medals in Every Olympic Event?” series. Wake me when they bring him in to revive the Tony Hawk franchise. Princess Peach as a skater chick… think about it.

Men in Black: Alien Crisis (360, PS3, Wii, 3DS)

Nope.

Downloadable Bonus!

Doctor Who: The Eternity Clock (PS3, Vita)

Following River Song and her companion, the Doctor, in what looks to be a platformer but with puzzles…or something. I wish they had a game based on the Fifth Doctor and it was all dialogue trees to try and convince Tegan, Nyssa, and Adric to stop complaining constantly and actually attempt to be somewhat useful. I miss those crazy kids.